IMAO

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• Friday Night Open Thread: Dude, Where’s My Cargo?
• Kid Who Chewed His Pop Tart Into the “Shape of a Gun” In Trouble Again!
• Jill Biden Insists Media Stop Using the Term “Misses” For His Gaffes and Pratfalls, Use “Doctoring” Instead
• 5 “High Functioning” Boobs Make Appearance at Address to Congress
• Biden Speech Explained
• Span, Wonderful Span!
• Masketeer Roundup! Sound Off Now!
• Straight Line of the Day: You Can Improve Government Using This One Weird Trick!
• Welcome to IMAO! Did Anyone Follow You?
• The Girl, or the Gun?
• Cut!

Friday Night Open Thread: Dude, Where’s My Cargo? Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:00 PM PDT Or, as the article says, “A Drop in the Ocean.” Pacific Ocean: “A week’s delay in the Suez Canal? Hold muh beer.” One . . . singular sensation. Shipping Containers Plunge Overboard as Supply Race Raises Risks Insurance Journal | April 27, 2021 | Ann Koh Containers piled high on giant vessels carrying everything from car tires to smartphones are toppling over at an alarming rate, sending millions of dollars of cargo sinking to the bottom of the ocean as pressure to speed deliveries raises the risk of safety errors. The shipping industry is seeing the biggest spike in lost containers in seven years. More than 3,000 boxes dropped into the sea last year, and more than 1,000 have fallen overboard so far in 2021. The accidents are disrupting supply chains for hundreds of U.S. retailers and manufacturers such as Amazon and Tesla. There are a host of reasons for the sudden rise in accidents. Weather is getting more unpredictable, while ships are growing bigger, allowing for containers to be stacked higher than ever before. But greatly exacerbating the situation is a surge in e-commerce after consumer demand exploded during the pandemic, increasing the urgency for shipping lines to deliver products as quickly as possible. "The increased movement of containers means that these very large containerships are much closer to full capacity than in the past," said Clive Reed, founder of Reed Marine Maritime Casualty Management Consultancy. "There is commercial pressure on the ships to arrive on time and consequently make more voyages." Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s our nightly Open Thread, and you have the floor.

Kid Who Chewed His Pop Tart Into the “Shape of a Gun” In Trouble Again! Posted: 30 Apr 2021 05:00 PM PDT * For placing 14 “Good ‘n’ Plenty”s into a row like a “high-capacity” magazine. * For chewing his Pop Tart in half — a masticoaggressive mockery of the halfs vs. the half-nots. * For chewing his nails, preventing them from growing long like a transgender girl’s would. * For not chewing his Pop Tart, thus leaving it in the shape of a pristine mail-in ballot for Biden that had neither been folded nor ever Putin an envelope. * For not wearing the yellow “chew”-ish star that the judge mandated after his last conviction. * For cultural appropriation — his ancestors did not come from the ancestral homeland of Pop Tarts. * For speaking while eating. According to YouTube, FaceBook, and Twitter, one may either eat or speak freely, but not both. * For not giving 10% of his buck teeth to “The Big Guy.” * For calling the chocolate-filled, chocolate-frosted Pop Tarts with chocolate sprinkles “Pop Sharts.” (The Big Guy owns 10% of Pop Tarts and is peculiarly sensitive on this issue.) * For trying to force them on Mil’tant the Toaster. * For accidentally putting a slice of pineapple in the same room as his Pizza Bagels. Man, this kid is nothing but trouble! 4

Jill Biden Insists Media Stop Using the Term “Misses” For His Gaffes and Pratfalls, Use “Doctoring” Instead Posted: 30 Apr 2021 03:00 PM PDT Important Opinion From Edict Wilson Competes For His Attention With a New Shampoo Major Bites Everyone Within Reach 1

5 “High Functioning” Boobs Make Appearance at Address to Congress Posted: 30 Apr 2021 02:00 PM PDT

Biden Speech Explained Posted: 30 Apr 2021 01:00 PM PDT Tite and images submitted by Gumbeaux: 5

Span, Wonderful Span! Posted: 30 Apr 2021 11:00 AM PDT Submitted by Slapout: 2

Masketeer Roundup! Sound Off Now! Posted: 30 Apr 2021 10:00 AM PDT … or is that “Sod Off Now”? … Clubby!! Fauci!! Karen!! Je Suis Le Roi!! Ban It!! (Her boobs go with her to Hollywood) — and Wednesday is Guest Tard Day. 1 1

Straight Line of the Day: You Can Improve Government Using This One Weird Trick! Posted: 30 Apr 2021 09:00 AM PDT Straight Line of the Day: you can improve government using this one weird trick!

Welcome to IMAO! Did Anyone Follow You? Posted: 30 Apr 2021 08:00 AM PDT Did you bring the Acme supplies we requested?

The Girl, or the Gun? Posted: 30 Apr 2021 07:00 AM PDT Probably going to have to hire a new intern to intro this, sigh. My work is never done here at IMAO. Anyway here is your question for the day, the Girl or the Gun? Gun is filling in for all the different types of firearms. the girl is the girl which I hope I don’t have to specify. You decide. You have until next Thursday night to make your choice. Girl or the gun? Girl Gun Vote 2

Cut! Posted: 30 Apr 2021 04:00 AM PDT Submitted by Slapout: 3

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Dave Barry's Blog

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• BY 'IMMEDIATE ACTION,' WE ASSUME THEY MEAN 'ORDER A DIFFERENT BRAND OF BEER'
• OK, ABOUT THE 'BETA' PART...
• WE'RE CONFIDENT THE SNAKES WILL TAKE CARE OF IT
• WELCOME HOME!
• WE’LL TAKE THE NEXT ONE, THANKS
• ESTIMATED LIFE SPAN IN MIAMI: 32 SECONDS
• THEY WERE PROBABLY FLEEING A PYTHON
• CAN IT DO THAT WITHOUT THE HELP OF THE OREGON HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT?
• THIS WAS PROCLAIMED BY THE MOSQUITOES
• ‘I JUST HAD A COUPLE OF BEERS, OFFICER’
• ‘JUST?’

BY 'IMMEDIATE ACTION,' WE ASSUME THEY MEAN 'ORDER A DIFFERENT BRAND OF BEER' Posted: 30 Apr 2021 02:02 PM PDT That's actually the goal of Torched Earth Ale, a new beer from New Belgium Brewing, based in Fort Collins, Colo. With each sip, you'll get a not-so-subtle reminder that your favorite brew may no longer taste the same if we don't take immediate action to slow climate change and adapt to its effects. (Thanks to Steve K, who says "Makes Bud Light sound almost tempting.")

OK, ABOUT THE 'BETA' PART... Posted: 30 Apr 2021 01:57 PM PDT Elon Musk: Tesla's next Full Self-Driving Beta update 'will blow your mind' (Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WE'RE CONFIDENT THE SNAKES WILL TAKE CARE OF IT Posted: 30 Apr 2021 01:58 PM PDT Australia's 'mice plague' is horrific. (Thanks to wiredog and Not My Usual Alias)

WELCOME HOME! Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:51 AM PDT Torrance Family Finds 800 Birds In Home (Thanks to Barry Nester)

WE’LL TAKE THE NEXT ONE, THANKS Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:47 AM PDT 2 arrested over horse in elevator in Tel Aviv skyscraper (Thanks to Barry Nester, who says "Do they expect him to climb the stairs?")

ESTIMATED LIFE SPAN IN MIAMI: 32 SECONDS Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:42 AM PDT Stellantis Bringing Adorable Citroen Ami To The US As Rental (Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THEY WERE PROBABLY FLEEING A PYTHON Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:39 AM PDT Alligator, cow delay Houston traffic (Thanks to Rod Nunley, Jane Linderman and EricY)

CAN IT DO THAT WITHOUT THE HELP OF THE OREGON HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT? Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:27 AM PDT Authorities on the Swedish island of Öland have warned citizens and tourists not to approach the dead body of a beached whale which "may explode". (Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS WAS PROCLAIMED BY THE MOSQUITOES Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:23 AM PDT Miami has just been proclaimed the Naked Gardening Capital of America. (Thanks to pharmaross)

‘I JUST HAD A COUPLE OF BEERS, OFFICER’ Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:20 AM PDT Scottish brewing giant BrewDog has just announced the return of the 'World's Strongest Beer' (Thanks to Al Barkafski)

‘JUST?’ Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:13 AM PDT Is the Loch Ness Monster Just a Whale Penis? (Thanks to pharmaross)

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Bulgarian & International Military and Defence News

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Russian frigate fails missile test, and the US rename it Suicide class Posted: 29 Apr 2021 11:03 PM PDT Russian tests of a Caliber missile have caused concern among Russians and mocking comments from American media and social networks. The post Russian frigate fails missile test, and the US rename it Suicide class first appeared on Bulgarian & International Military and Defence News.

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Soldier Systems Daily

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• US Army Funded Research Could Enable Biotechnology Advances in Medicine, Protective Equipment, Sensors
• Bushnell Shooter KC Eusebio Wins 8th World Speed Shooting Championship
• Bushnell and Hoppe’s Pro Jessie Harrison Takes Gold at 2021 World Speed Shooting Championships
• 5.11, Amazon Prime Video and Higher Ground Come Together to Air Drop Gift Packages to Military Veterans
• Army Chief of Staff GEN McConville Models “Ike” Jacket

US Army Funded Research Could Enable Biotechnology Advances in Medicine, Protective Equipment, Sensors Posted: 30 Apr 2021 05:00 PM PDT RESEARCH TRIANGLE PARK, N.C. — New Army-funded synthetic biology research manipulated micro-compartments in cells, potentially enabling bio-manufacturing advances for medicine, protective equipment and engineering applications. Bad bacteria can survive in extremely hostile environments — including inside the highly acidic human stomach—thanks to their ability to sequester toxins into tiny compartments. In a new study, published in ACS […]

Bushnell Shooter KC Eusebio Wins 8th World Speed Shooting Championship Posted: 30 Apr 2021 04:00 PM PDT Eusebio Named Overall Champion and Claims Two Division Titles OVERLAND PARK, Kan. – April 28, 2021 – Bushnell®, an industry leader in performance optics, congratulates pro shooter KC Eusebio on winning his eighth World Speed Shooting Championship title. Eusebio, equipped with a Bushnell First Strike 2.0 reflex sight, was successful in claiming the High Overall […]

Bushnell and Hoppe’s Pro Jessie Harrison Takes Gold at 2021 World Speed Shooting Championships Posted: 30 Apr 2021 03:00 PM PDT OVERLAND PARK, Kan. – April 28, 2021 – Bushnell, an industry leader in performance optics, and Hoppe's, the No. 1 name in gun care products, congratulate pro shooter Jessie Harrison on her first-place finish at the 2021 World Speed Shooting Championships. Harrison was successful in claiming the High Lady Overall title and first place in […]

5.11, Amazon Prime Video and Higher Ground Come Together to Air Drop Gift Packages to Military Veterans Posted: 30 Apr 2021 02:00 PM PDT COLLABORATION CELEBRATES NATIONAL MILITARY APPRECIATION MONTH AND TOM CLANCY'S WITHOUT REMORSE FILM RELEASE5.11, Inc., the global innovator of purpose-built apparel, footwear, and gear, today announced that the company, along with Amazon Prime Video and Higher Ground, celebrated National Military Appreciation Month and the April 30 release of the film Tom Clancy's Without Remorse in exciting […]

Army Chief of Staff GEN McConville Models “Ike” Jacket Posted: 30 Apr 2021 12:00 PM PDT General McConville, Chief of Staff of the Army, was spotted at Massachusetts General Hospital sporting the optional “Ike” Jacket for the Army Green Uniform. In recognition of their dedication to the health care of military veterans and the families of fallen heroes, leaders from Home Base, a Red Sox Foundation and Massachusetts General Hospital Program, […]

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StartupNation

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Former Microsoft Program Manager Shares His Employee to Entrepreneur Journey Posted: 30 Apr 2021 02:00 AM PDT Why is there so much talk about "young" entrepreneurs when the most successful companies (the top 0.1% based on growth of the first five years) are founded by individuals at the average age of 45? Call me a cranky 38-year-old, but the data seems to prove what seems like common sense: It takes a lot of knowledge, experience and maturity to build a successful company. Of course, anything is possible, but let's talk about why gaining experience in the workforce first can set you up to successfully transition later in life from full-time employee to entrepreneur and radically increase your chances of building a successful company.  StartupNation has partnered with Yottled to provide the fastest way to bring your business online. Get started for free Here’s how I formulated my employee to entrepreneur journey, and how you can follow a similar path to launch a successful startup: Set yourself up for success by working in the most challenging "corporate" job you can get As a future entrepreneur, it's crucial that you spend most of your 20s and perhaps some of your 30s working in the most demanding and most successful company you can find. By choosing an employer in the industry in which you want to be an entrepreneur, this gives you invaluable on-the-job training in your field. Although you may feel the temptation to go out and start your own business, to shake up the system like the young prodigies you've read about, it is exceedingly difficult to shake up a system that you don't understand; therefore, you need to get into the system first. And, just because you are good at your profession, it doesn't necessarily correlate to you becoming a successful entrepreneur and running a profitable business. Having a job teaches the skills you need like collaboration, professionalism and communication to then go out on your own and run your own business. Related: WJR Business Beat with Jeff Sloan: Entrepreneurial Success by Age Demographics Get the value of real life work experience before building your entrepreneurial venture Imagine trying to put a puzzle together without seeing the picture on the box. It's really hard to build something if you have no idea what that something looks like, and it's even harder to build a company that works if you've never seen one that works. Similarly, aspiring entrepreneurs need to surround themselves with excellence to become excellent. Fresh out of college in my early 20s, I became an engineer at Microsoft. As an employee, I gained the most valuable experience of my life when it came to the planning, developing and launching of products, and I was able to learn what worked. Along the way of registering 25 patents, there were failed attempts and missteps — which you will have in your entrepreneurial journey, too — but, by working at a corporation like Microsoft, it allowed me to explore intrapreneurship without going bankrupt or ruining my credit. Additionally, I was also able to work with some of the most competent business professionals in the industry and learn from them for free. An invaluable opportunity, this also allowed me to have built-in mentors and start building a network for when I went out on my own.  Begin testing your idea while still employed full-time Always passionate about health and wellness since my teenage years, it was while I was at Microsoft in my 20s that I spent all of my nights and weekends collaborating with top doctors and researchers to analyze more than 10,000 pages of academic research related to diet, exercise and weight loss. Eventually, after being at Microsoft for about seven years, this research became my first self-published book, "The Smarter Science of Slim," and later, the single largest scientific analysis of health and fitness ever conducted. While essentially having two jobs at one time, this also meant I had minimal financial risk while I was pursuing my "passion project." Saving every penny you can while working for someone else is extremely important for planning to start your own entrepreneurial venture, as it allows you to be better prepared to bootstrap your startup. This way, when you do set out to be your own boss you can avoid having more bosses who go by a different name: investors. While I worked at Microsoft, I drove a broken down 1998 Toyota Camry with no driver's side door handle. Why? Because I knew I wanted to do something else with my money later. Sign Up: Receive the StartupNation newsletter! Prove your business concept As you approach the end of your 20s, this is the time to begin to test your business model by figuring out a way to prove your concept while you're still employed. Remember, you don't need a product to prove a business concept. Instead, you can research the potential product, see if there's a market for it and go from there. For me, this was when my self-published book caught the eye of a literary agent who approached a publisher that turned it into The New York Times best-selling book, "The Calorie Myth." I didn't leave Microsoft and lose my full-time income stream until I basically had to because my side hustle became too successful not to turn into a full-time gig helping others with their health struggles. I also never really left. My exit included hugs and an open door to come back. I even went back to Microsoft the year I launched my business as a guest speaker and spoke to company executives and employees about "The Calorie Myth." Talk about having the safety net you need to really put your neck out there and not be afraid to fail. I appreciate you, Bill.  Start your own business Once you have proven your concept and essentially have a successful startup, then it’s time to officially start it. By then, you'll have the money to self-fund it, the skills and experience to crush it, and the network to enable it. You'll have everything you didn't have in your early 20s. Honestly, putting in tens of thousands of hours at Microsoft during my 20s is the only reason I've been successful as an entrepreneur. I am eternally grateful to have had the opportunity to witness and have been a part of the majesty that is one of the most excellent companies ever. Like most things in life, the truth is the opposite of what most people think. That's why Mark Twain said, "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." Get that money. Develop those skills. Earn that network. Eat a piece of humble pie. And enjoy a successful startup in your third or fourth decade rather than failing in your 20s and being forced into the rat race. Anything is possible with the right foundation, and hopefully these tips help make your entrepreneurial venture more probable. I hope you do everything in your power to experience something similar. It's worth it, I promise. The post Former Microsoft Program Manager Shares His Employee to Entrepreneur Journey appeared first on StartupNation.

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Gamasutra News

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• Get a job: Join SideFX as a Sr. Houdini Technical Artist
• Riot will retain and review voice chat clips as part of Valorant's reporting tools
• Facebook acquires Onward dev Downpour Interactive
• Don't Miss: Remembering the life and times of Nintendo Power
• Obituary: Sly Cooper, Tomba 2 composer Ashif Hakik
• Official PlayStation Magazine drops official branding to relaunch as Play Magazine
• Video: Towards a filmic quality at 30 FPS
• Epic Games now owns ArtStation
• Here are the different session formats for GDC 2021
• Overgrowth dev Wolfire Games files antitrust lawsuit against Valve over Steam fees
• Activision turns Crash 4 dev into Warzone support studio, denies layoff rumors
• Best of both worlds: How AI helps achieve 'tactical clarity' in Gears Tactics

Get a job: Join SideFX as a Sr. Houdini Technical Artist Posted: 30 Apr 2021 03:15 PM PDT We are seeking an exceptional individual to join our talented Technical Consulting Team, reporting to the Technical Consulting Manager. ...

Riot will retain and review voice chat clips as part of Valorant's reporting tools Posted: 30 Apr 2021 03:05 PM PDT A shift in policy means that Riot Games will now record snippets of voice chat in Valorant, but only in cases where a report is filed against a player over behavior in in-game voice channels. ...

Facebook acquires Onward dev Downpour Interactive Posted: 30 Apr 2021 02:16 PM PDT Downpour Interactive is joining Oculus Studios by way of acquisition. ...

Don't Miss: Remembering the life and times of Nintendo Power Posted: 30 Apr 2021 01:04 PM PDT Nintendo Power founding editors Gail Tilden and Howard Phillips share their memories of launching (for better or worse) one of the most influential video game periodicals in this classic 2012 feature. ...

Obituary: Sly Cooper, Tomba 2 composer Ashif Hakik Posted: 30 Apr 2021 12:33 PM PDT Ashif Hakik, the composer behind a number of PlayStation classics like Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus and Crash Nitro Cart, has passed away. ...

Official PlayStation Magazine drops official branding to relaunch as Play Magazine Posted: 30 Apr 2021 12:02 PM PDT Official PlayStation Magazine is no more, ending the publication's decades-long run as it relaunches (with the same staff and focus) simply as Play Magazine. ...

Video: Towards a filmic quality at 30 FPS Posted: 30 Apr 2021 11:22 AM PDT In this 2019 GDC talk, Unity's Natasha Tatarchuk share the lessons, tips and tricks from the integration of real-time ray tracing into a modern unified PBR rendering pipeline. ...

Epic Games now owns ArtStation Posted: 30 Apr 2021 10:37 AM PDT Epic Games has announced that it's acquiring ArtStation, one of the major portfolio platforms for visual artists across different fields. ...

Here are the different session formats for GDC 2021 Posted: 30 Apr 2021 10:22 AM PDT Take a look at the different session formats for the all-digital GDC 2021. ...

Overgrowth dev Wolfire Games files antitrust lawsuit against Valve over Steam fees Posted: 30 Apr 2021 08:18 AM PDT "Valve abuses its market power to ensure game publishers have no choice but to sell most of their games through the Steam Store, where they are subject to Valve's 30 percent toll." ...

Activision turns Crash 4 dev into Warzone support studio, denies layoff rumors Posted: 30 Apr 2021 06:24 AM PDT Update: Crash Bandicoot 4 developer Toys for Bob has confirmed it is supporting development on Call of Duty: Warzone, but Activision denies layoff rumors. ...

Best of both worlds: How AI helps achieve 'tactical clarity' in Gears Tactics Posted: 30 Apr 2021 05:23 AM PDT Ensuring players can follow the action is critical to turn-based strategy, and in Gears Tactics AI helps make that happen. ...

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