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Midnight Special : March Madness Elite Eight Edition
So Who Was the Second Party?
Straight Line of the Day: Physics Is Racist!
Welcome to IMAO! We’ve Almost Got This Parallel Parking Thing Solved
Wait — This Might Work

Midnight Special : March Madness Elite Eight Edition

Posted: 14 Apr 2021 07:00 PM PDT

Sweet Sixteen is in the books and we move on to the Elite Eight.

Results

(1) Diamonds are Forever def. (16) Die Another Day [38-2]
(9) View to a Kill def. (8) World is not Enough [36-3]
(5) Goldfinger def. (12) Casino Royale [38-4]
(13) Live and Let Die def. (4) Spy Who Loved Me [32-8]
(6) For Your Eyes Only def. (11) From Russia with Love [25-21]
(3) Goldeneye def. (14) Man with the Golden Gun [18-15]
(10) Dr. No def. (7) License to Kill [32-4]
(2) You Only Live Twice def. (15) Thunderball [20-19]

So we move on to the four matches of the Elite Eight.

(1) Diamonds are Forever vs (9) View to a Kill

Shirley Bassey

Duran Duran

(5) Goldfinger vs (13) Live and Let Die

Shirley Bassey

Paul McCartney and Wings

(6) For Your Eyes Only vs (3) Goldeneye

Sheena Easton

Tina Turner

(10) Dr, No vs (2) You Only Live Twice

John Barry

Nancy Sinatra

All polls will close on Tuesday April 20th at 5:00 pm.

So Who Was the Second Party?

Posted: 14 Apr 2021 12:00 PM PDT

U.K. Coroner Rules Exiled Russian Critic Of Putin Was Strangled
Radio Free Europe | April 10, 2021
A British coroner has determined that an exiled Russian critic of President Vladimir Putin was strangled to death by “a third party” at his home in a southwest suburb of London.
Self-exiled Russian businessman Nikolai Glushkov was found dead at his home in New Malden, England, in March 2018.
Senior coroner Chinyere Inyama ruled that Glushkov was “unlawfully killed” after the West London Coroner’s Court heard evidence suggesting his death was made to look like a suicide and that there had been “third-party involvement.”

Um, more clarity, Quincy?

His death came a week after the Novichok poisoning in Salisbury, England, of the Russian former double agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter, Yulia.

Message received, Vladimir.

A pathology report presented to the West London Coroner’s Court said Glushkov’s injuries “could be consistent with a neck-hold, applied from behind, and the assailant being behind the victim.”
The pathology report said: “There is a lack of injuries to suggest prolonged grappling or restraint with the third party, and a lack of injuries of a defensive nature to the upper limbs.”

And — in a line read by any of the Monty Python cast:

The coroner’s verdict said: “From all the documentation, all the evidence gathered, Nikolai Glushkov died from an unlawful killing.”

Appealing to those who harbor a death wish:

British detectives are renewing an appeal for witnesses who were in the New Malden area on March 11-12, 2018.

And more appealing:

The inquest coincides with a renewed appeal by London’s Met Police counterterrorism unit for more information about Glushkov’s death.
Commander Richard Smith says more than 1,800 potential witnesses have been contacted and more than 420 statements taken.

Wait.

1,800????????????????????

???

So, these crackerjack investi-gaiters can divvie up a 23% response rate to their inquiries?

Straight Line of the Day: Physics Is Racist!

Posted: 14 Apr 2021 09:00 AM PDT

… For the same reasons as were given yesterday.

Straight Line of the Day: Physics is racist!

Welcome to IMAO! We’ve Almost Got This Parallel Parking Thing Solved

Posted: 14 Apr 2021 08:00 AM PDT