Quick and Dirty Tips

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• The Prevalence of Little White Lies in Online Dating
• How to Cope When Your Child Has a Favorite Parent
• Semicolons

The Prevalence of Little White Lies in Online Dating Posted: 28 Nov 2021 10:57 PM PST Have you ever been perusing profiles on dating sites and seen someone who looks too good to be true? Sure, there may be bots trying to catfish people or influencers trying to gain more followers, but I'm talking about a profile of a normal person who seems a little too polished. You search for clues in their profile that might indicate that they're lying or consider the extent to which pictures were edited. Do you "swipe right" and hope this person turns out to be as amazing as their profile makes them seem? On the flip side, you might be considering how much you can stretch the truth when creating your own profile. Yeah, you might not love hiking right now, but it's something you want to get into. Maybe you gained a few pounds over the holidays, but your New Year's resolutions are to get back on the dating scene and lose weight, so why not portray yourself as a little lighter since you're going to lose that weight anyway? How common is deception in online dating and what does it look like? Deception in online dating, both your own and others', is a common issue that people worry about, but things may not be as dire as they seem. Although online deception is common, with some research estimating that 80% of people engage in deception, the things people are lying about are quite minor. For instance, people often fudge their weight and height a bit, particularly in the direction that is considered to be attractive—which for people who identify as men usually means they add a few inches to their height, and for people who identify as women may mean they take a few pounds off their weight.  Relationshopping: why dating apps can lead to choice overload One perspective is that some people may view their "profile as promise", where they present the version of themselves they are working towards instead of who they are today. This might be the case when someone talks about hobbies or goals that they are not actively involved in or haven't achieved just yet.... Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

How to Cope When Your Child Has a Favorite Parent Posted: 28 Nov 2021 10:55 PM PST Are you a parent who can barely get one second to yourself because your child is constantly following you around? Do they insist that they need you and refuse to accept help or comfort from their other parent? Do you find yourself having to come to your child's or your partner's rescue when the two of them are in yet another conflict where your child is insisting that you do something for them that their other parent is available and capable of doing? Maybe you're a parent who is often sent away by your child in favor of their other parent. Your child screams for their other parent to give them a bath, change their diaper, or make their grilled cheese. When your partner has to go out, your child clings to them on the way out and wails for what seems like forever after they leave, refusing to allow you to comfort them in any way. Maybe your child constantly tells you how their other parent does X, Y, or Z better than you? One of the most common dynamics I see in my practice is the scenario where a toddler or young child shows an extreme preference for one parent over the other. Parents have expressed feelings around this dynamic that span from neutral to hurt to furious to exhausted. The rebuffed parent can feel rejected, excluded, and helpless. The preferred parent can feel like they never get a break from being the go-to parent for both their child and their partner. It feels unsustainable for everyone. A child's extreme parental preference can result in a situation where there tends to be one parent longing for more parent-child connection and one parent feeling overloaded with parent-child connection. A child showing favoritism towards one parent is very common, especially in the toddler years. And the favoritism might switch from one parent to the other and back again. It's yet another way that some toddlers begin to experiment with being autonomous and asserting themselves. It can fade out as your child matures or it can be a lasting dynamic if an older child feels they have more in common with one parent or finds it easier to be open with them. I've often heard from teens that they have more in common with or feel more understood by one parent, or that one of their parents is more flexible or responds with more empathy when they make mistakes. In the little-kid years, however, a child's extreme parental preference can result in a situation where there tends to be one parent longing for more parent-child connection and one parent feeling overloaded with parent-child connection. So what are good ways to address parent favoritism when it pops up? How to Manage Your Anger and Frustration as a Parent Here's how... Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

Semicolons Posted: 28 Nov 2021 08:52 AM PST I get questions about semicolons a lot, so it's time to clear up some confusion. Use semicolons to separate things and add variety Semicolons separate things. Most commonly, they separate two main clauses that are closely related to each other but that could stand on their own as sentences if you wanted them to. Here's an example: "Squiggly loves chocolate; he even put it on his tacos once." The two parts of that long sentence that are separated by a semicolon could be sentences on their own if you put a period between them: Squiggly loves chocolate. He even put it on his tacos once. One reason you might choose to use a semicolon instead of a period is if you want to add variety to your sentence structure, for example, if you thought you had too many short, choppy sentences in a row. But when you use a semicolon, the main clauses should be closely related to each other. You wouldn't write, "It was below zero outside; Squiggly loves chocolate," because those two main clauses have nothing to do with each other. In fact, the other reason to use a semicolon instead of a period is if you want to draw attention to the relationship between the two clauses. Now let's talk about the two forms of punctuation that are most commonly misused in place of semicolons:  Semicolons versus colons Semicolons versus commas Semicolons versus colons People often ask me what the difference is between a semicolon and a colon, and there are a couple of differences.  First, the purpose of a colon is to introduce or define something. For example, you could write, "Squiggly checked the temperature: it was -20 degrees outside." I'll admit that these differences can be subtle, but I would use a colon in that sentence instead of a semicolon because the second clause (the temperature) strongly relates back to the first clause (Squiggly checking the temperature). Semicolons separate things. Most commonly, they separate two main clauses that are closely related to each other but could stand on their own as sentences. The second difference between a colon and a semicolon is that when you are joining things, you use a semicolon to join things of equal weight, whereas you can use a colon to join things of equal or unequal weight. For example, you can use either a semicolon or a colon to join two main clauses, but you can only use a colon to join a main clause with a noun. Here's an example: "Squiggly has a favorite flavor: chocolate." You couldn't use a... Keep reading on Quick and Dirty Tips

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