Dave Barry's Blog

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• ATTENTION PARENTS LOOKING FOR THE IDEAL VEHICLE FOR PICKING UP YOUR CHILD AT MIDDLE SCHOOL
• WHY?
• THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
• SPORTS GUYS IN ACTION
• AND THE BARTENDER SAYS ‘WHY THE LONG BODY?’
• AND IN SPORTS
• YOU GO, MICHIGAN WOMAN
• YOU KNOW WHOSE ORDERS IT’S FOLLOWING
• MARTIANS HAVE NEEDS, TOO
• WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES
• FLORIDA WILDLIFE UPDATE
• THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
• RESEARCHERS NEED TO GET OUT MORE
• AND THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS’ LICENSES
• THE WORSENING SITUATION IN CANADA CONTINUES TO GET WORSE

ATTENTION PARENTS LOOKING FOR THE IDEAL VEHICLE FOR PICKING UP YOUR CHILD AT MIDDLE SCHOOL Posted: 21 Feb 2022 09:29 AM PST This could surpass the Wienermobile. (Thanks to Scott Baker)

WHY? Posted: 21 Feb 2022 09:25 AM PST 4 in 10 people admit to taste-testing their pet's food (Thanks to Le Petomane)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS Posted: 21 Feb 2022 06:22 AM PST A Courthouse Bomb Scare Turned Out Be Surprise Taco Bell (Thanks to Geoff Scott, who says "The explosion happens the next day.")

SPORTS GUYS IN ACTION Posted: 20 Feb 2022 06:21 AM PST Football fan spent a whole year getting beloved team's shirt tattooed on torso (Thanks to John Lobert)

AND THE BARTENDER SAYS ‘WHY THE LONG BODY?’ Posted: 20 Feb 2022 06:15 AM PST 8.5ft Black Mamba Slithered Into Lounge As Man Watched TV Incredibly, not Australia. (Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS Posted: 21 Feb 2022 06:23 AM PST Finland skier suffers frozen penis in Olympics mass start race (Thanks to Michael Parry and Terry Spurgin)

YOU GO, MICHIGAN WOMAN Posted: 20 Feb 2022 06:10 AM PST Michigan woman turning 100 adds another tattoo (Thanks to Asher Scheiner and pharmaross)

YOU KNOW WHOSE ORDERS IT’S FOLLOWING Posted: 20 Feb 2022 06:05 AM PST Wanted: A 500-pound black bear that has broken into nearly 30 California homes (Thanks to B&C)

MARTIANS HAVE NEEDS, TOO Posted: 20 Feb 2022 02:58 PM PST Bizarre rock spotted on Mars is being compared to a sex toy (Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES Posted: 20 Feb 2022 05:57 AM PST Endangered bum-breathing punk turtles thrill rescuers with late hatching against the odds (Thanks to Fabian Marson, who says "Animal resucers: easily thrilled.")

FLORIDA WILDLIFE UPDATE Posted: 19 Feb 2022 11:39 AM PST Ran into this guy on Lucy's morning walk.

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING Posted: 19 Feb 2022 07:33 AM PST Scientists demonstrate self-awareness in fish (Thanks to John Lobert)

RESEARCHERS NEED TO GET OUT MORE Posted: 19 Feb 2022 06:36 AM PST Swedish Researchers Really, Really Want Your Urine (Thanks to pharmaross)

AND THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS’ LICENSES Posted: 19 Feb 2022 07:34 AM PST Here's what one million mosquitoes look like (Thanks to pharmaross and Le Petomane, who says "I wonder who counted them?")

THE WORSENING SITUATION IN CANADA CONTINUES TO GET WORSE Posted: 19 Feb 2022 06:30 AM PST Denture held hostage in fight between neighbours (Thanks to Doug Ogg)

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