Dave Barry's Blog

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• AS THEY SO OFTEN DO
• ABOUT THE COMMENTS
• IT WAITED 175,000 HOURS ON HOLD FOR TECH SUPPORT
• LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR...
• MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
• THE NYPD HAS BEEKEEPERS?
• USING 'FUTURISTIC' IN THE SENSE OF 'TOTALLY IMAGINARY'
• ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK
• IMAGINE HOW THE ANIMALS FEEL
• WE STILL HAVE A FEW RIGHTS LEFT
• THEY BATTLED IT FOR THREE HOURS
• LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE ROLLING STONES!
• AS IF WE NEEDED FURTHER PROOF
• PORCH PIRATE
• THIS USUALLY WORKS AS A DEFENSE

AS THEY SO OFTEN DO Posted: 28 Jun 2022 11:51 AM PDT Woman Naked From Waist Down Claimed Snakes Ate Her Pants (Thanks to Frank)

ABOUT THE COMMENTS Posted: 28 Jun 2022 07:02 AM PDT We have been advised (thanks, Jeff and Jim) that the comments on today's posts are closed. We don't know why; we've checked the "open" box on all of them. We will of course fire judi, but beyond that we don't have a plan, other than to hope that eventually this problem goes away. This is also our approach to medical care and plumbing.

IT WAITED 175,000 HOURS ON HOLD FOR TECH SUPPORT Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:51 AM PDT Mars probe running Windows 98 receives software update after two decades (Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR... Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:48 AM PDT Whistling Scrotum (Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who saw them open for Counting Crows)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:39 AM PDT 1:43 a.m. Two sisters were out for a walk. (Thanks to pharmaross)

THE NYPD HAS BEEKEEPERS? Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:37 AM PDT NYPD beekeepers called to remove 2,000 bees from Manhattan restaurant (Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "The person who counted the bees is recovering in a Manhattan hospital.")

USING 'FUTURISTIC' IN THE SENSE OF 'TOTALLY IMAGINARY' Posted: 28 Jun 2022 11:42 AM PDT Futuristic flying nuclear hotel can carry 5000 guests and would never need to land Two words that do not go together: "nuclear" and "hotel." (Thanks to ImNotDave and Le Petomane)

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:32 AM PDT Squirrel cuts the power for more than 3,000 in downtown Asheville area (Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

IMAGINE HOW THE ANIMALS FEEL Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:31 AM PDT Woman Arrested for Slapping Her Husband at Disney's Animal Kingdom Over "Stress of Disney World Vacation" (Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

WE STILL HAVE A FEW RIGHTS LEFT Posted: 27 Jun 2022 05:56 AM PDT Charges dropped against clown who pressed buttocks against window (Thanks to pharmaross)

THEY BATTLED IT FOR THREE HOURS Posted: 27 Jun 2022 05:54 AM PDT Firefighters Find Overheated Vibrator After Being Called to Apartment (Thanks to pharmaross)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE ROLLING STONES! Posted: 27 Jun 2022 05:52 AM PDT Scientists discover reptiles, amphibians that don't grow old! (Thanks to Barry Nester)

AS IF WE NEEDED FURTHER PROOF Posted: 27 Jun 2022 05:50 AM PDT Photos prove Australia is the most terrifying place on earth (Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

PORCH PIRATE Posted: 28 Jun 2022 06:40 AM PDT A 51-year-old Florida man has been arrested after attempting to disassemble and steal someone's porch. (Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

THIS USUALLY WORKS AS A DEFENSE Posted: 27 Jun 2022 05:47 AM PDT An Alabama man wearing a t-shirt proclaiming "I'm Too Good for drugs!" was arrested for possessing methamphetamine and narcotics paraphernalia, police report. (Thanks to pharmaross)

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