In 2003 I became a personal trainer. While it is insane how fast those 21 years flew by, I have seen my evolution in the way I think about what it means to be healthy. Back in 2003, my focus was primarily on diet and exercise. Over these 2 decades, I have come to believe that being healthy is way more than just about this--it also includes factors such as mental health, feeling connected to others, and having a sense of spirituality. After all, anxiety, depression, loneliness, isolation, and helplessness will increase our stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline.) It is impossible to have a rise in these fight-or-flight hormones without it negatively impacting our health, even when we try to convince ourselves that "we are just fine". We are not.
This year, I've added a new factor: KINDNESS. We are currently living in a world filled with anger, vitriol and hostility. I am convinced that all of this rage is contributing to poor health. And now, a quick story.
Many of my clients and I have been discussing the rising anger that seems to have infiltrated the medical profession. In fairness, many medical offices are stretched to the limits—often doctors can't see their patients in a timely fashion, leaving their patients angry and frustrated. When staff members have to constantly deal with irritable people, we can understand why they are curt or short on patience. And the negative feedback loop continues.
Recently, I made an appointment with a prominent shoulder specialist. Once I had the appointment, I was told I would get a confirming e-mail. Oh, did I get an e-mail. The e-mail started off stating in bold, red letters, underlined, "THESE NEW PATIENT FORMS MUST BE COMPLETED WITHIN 24-48 HOURS OR YOUR APPOINTMENT WILL BE CANCELLED!!" The office was asking for a lot of information that was scattered all throughout the e-mail. Topics included sending in a photo ID, insurance card, rules on appointment times, cancelation policy, insurance instructions, how to properly send in radiology images and reports, etc. I felt so overwhelmed that I gasped, "YIKES", out loud. I filled out the forms immediately because I felt nervous to miss the deadline.
The next morning, at 7AM, my phone rang. It was the doctor's office calling to sternly tell me that I INCORRECTLY filled out the forms. The gruff woman on the phone patronizingly shouted, "DID YOU READ THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL???" Well, I thought I did but I obviously made a mistake given her call to me. I immediately rectified the situation and was saved. WHEW!
Instead of getting upset I got curious. I wondered why this woman was calling me at 7 AM screaming at me? 🤔 I figured that she was angry because she had to do this all day long probably because no one was following the e-mail instructions. I hypothesized that no one was following her instructions because the office was sending out an aggressive, hostile e-mail. I can't think of anyone who enjoys being yelled out without cause. (In fact, most of us hate it even if we DID make a mistake!)
So, I sat down and re-wrote their e-mail. In the revision, I used words like "welcome, please and thank you." I had 2 checklists so that patients could easily follow the instructions in a systematic manner. I basically did a lot of cutting and pasting but got rid of the red, bold letters, the underlying, the exclamation points and all of the various yellow highlighting. It took me all of 10 minutes. I printed out their version and my version of these e-mails. The visual difference was notable immediately.
I brought these two e-mails to my doctor's appointment. I met with the doctor. At the end of our meeting, I asked him if he was interested in any patient feedback. He was. I calmly explained what happened. I told him that he could take this feedback and listen to it, or ignore it—it didn't make a difference to me simply because this is not my business. I told him that I do run a small business and would never talk to my clients this way. Ever. And then I told him what I truly believe in my heart: KINDESS MATTERS.
Just while anger and hatred contribute to poor health, I believe that small acts of kindness are no different than the way an "exercise snack" (a short burst of exercise) contributes to good health. There is a rush of endorphins that happens when you do something unexpectedly nice for someone else. Give it a try and see for yourself. And please feel free to share your experiences with me--nothing would make me happier.
In the spirit of this blog, if you read these words, I would like to to say, THANK YOU.❤️
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